22 7 / 2014
than being sent your diaries from 8th grade through college, and getting to rediscover just how incredibly boy-crazy you were. eep. (my yearbooks were also delivered, meaning i can cross reference the entries with photos, since i definitely did not remember most of these people…)
18 7 / 2014
- this weekend we have family visitors (stephen’s brother and his girlfriend) and next weekend we have family visitors (stephen’s sister and his parents), and the best thing about visitors is that we get to sight-see alongside them. i’m going to try to convince people to do the craft beer festival and the sheffield garden walk (or maybe benfest since it’s right around the corner), and i really want to go to par-king.
- lately i’ve mostly been wearing tees and cut-offs and drape-y tops and dresses, which feels pretty different from my past wardrobe. i think it’s a combination of working from home, and feeling like chicago has a different sense of style. (also i wear less make up and i pretty much never wear shoes on weekdays. whatever it is, it’s good i guess - the other day stephen told me “i really like your style this summer.”)
- the best thing i’ve eaten recently was a blueberry “doughscuit" at endgrain. side note: most of the articles that appear when you google doughscuit are frantic little thinkpieces about how the doughscuit is the cronut’s offspring but will also do the cronut in eventually, and honestly? i think there’s enough room in our world for any pastry hybrid that decides to appear. anyways, this was like a slightly thicker, chewier donut, or like a fluffier biscuit that had been iced. really delicious, i think.
- yesterday i found out that my vacation request has officially been approved, which means that i can blog about the fact that we are going to ireland this fall! we’ll be traveling with my parents to dublin, galway, and the dingle peninsula, and if you’ve been to any of those places and want to give me your tips, i’d be much obliged.
09 7 / 2014
and i’m not going to post that cupcake (i don’t really care for it.) in that time, on this silly tumblr, i’ve very occasionally posted about some of the biggest things that have happened in my life so far (changing jobs twice, getting engaged, getting married, moving three times including to chicago), made some of my dearest friends, and watched the platform change pretty radically. at this point, i frequently have to google the jokes that seem to run rampant across my dash (kids these days!) but i still love this little thing.
maybe i’ll post more. probably not.
25 6 / 2014
someone once shared a theory with me that of the three main spheres of life (relationship, friendship, career), you were likely to only be really happy in two at the same time. that while it might be possible to feel truly fulfilled in all three concurrently, it was difficult. i’ve actually thought about that a lot over the years, and when i picture the times i was really happy in one or the other, i can also identify that in those moments, something was lacking in the other departments. (usually because something has to give - beyonce and i might have the same number of hours in a day, but we don’t have the same resources, which make a world of difference.)
these days, i feel this acutely. i am, as i have always been, so very happy in my relationship with stephen. we’re having such fun in our new city, and continue to feel confident and content in the decision to leave new york for chicago and strike out into the next phase of adulthood here, together. though we obviously miss our friends. and bagels. as you do.
it has been a gift to have discovered and rediscovered the friendships i have found in chicago so far. some of my closest friends from college moved here, and we’ve had a great time reconnecting. i also feel really lucky to have made friends with some of the internet girls who have welcomed me into their social circles. what could have been a lonely move has been made infinitely easier by having people here that i look forward to seeing and exploring (and dining and drinking and dancing) with.
but it is that third sphere that continues to plague me. again, i feel lucky to have been offered the opportunity to work remotely, to have remained employed during the past six months, allowing us to furnish our new home and explore the city and make some exciting plans for the future (and pay off one of my student loans, which was maybe the most exciting because i am a nerd who gets really jazzed about living debt-free). but i am not a person whose personality or work style is predisposed to working alone five days a week, a time zone away from her colleagues. it has been difficult. and i think it’s made harder by the fact that in my mind, this was a transition - i would wrap up some major spring projects, there would be a logical end point for both me and my employer, and then by may or june i would find a job here that allowed me to work and learn in a new place. and instead my transitional period has become my new normal; i am just a person who works from home. (a person who lives for the weekends and has the strongest sunday sads of her life.) i recognize that this problem is a privileged one, i really do. but i can’t help but wish for (and try to work towards) a better situation.
when people talk about having it all, what i picture is that middle point, feeling successful and happy in all three areas of life. and while it feels difficult from my current vantage point, it also feels achievable. so that’s what i’m working towards these days.